Want To Get More Respect? Stop Saying Sorry

March 14, 2019
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Executive woman in a meeting

You know it, other people know it, but you do it all the time—you say “sorry” automatically and reflexively, all the time, everywhere, for every little thing. Most of the time it is unnecessary, and it really doesn’t mean anything. Why are you sorry? Seriously, think about all the times you say sorry—when you open a door and someone else is there. What kind of crazy is that? You are not sorry. Why should you be?

Dr. Sylvia Lafair, therapist-turned leadership-coach, said, “Words are like an x-ray of your inner thoughts. The words you choose and the way you use them are vital for your success.” The words that are automatic, like “Sorry,” and words and phrases that minimize what you have to say are not serving you or your success. Your brilliance, your success, your influence and your confidence get trapped inside of all that apologizing. It's as if you are sorry just to take up space. Joe Carella, the assistant dean at the University of Arizona, Eller College of Management, said, "We did our own analysis of Fortune 500 companies and found that companies that have women in top management roles experience what we call 'innovation intensity' and produce more patents—by an average of 20 percent more than teams with male leaders."

View the article written by Janet Zaretsky for Forbes.


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